I’ve been a little distant on social media this past week because I’ve had family in town to celebrate the Twins’ birthday. It’s these family members’ first visit to us since we moved to the US nearly three years ago, so we’ve enjoyed showing off the local sights and eating twice as much as we usually do. We love to have guests, but with all the fun also comes hard work and unplanned inconveniences. You know you’ve had family to stay when:
1. Your kids are behaving like total brats.
Is it because they’re being spoilt? Is it because you can’t face disciplining them in public? Maybe you’re ignoring them more than usual while you desperately slurp at wine, because it’s supposed to be fun for you too, right? No one knows. But sure enough your kids will act like total animals.
2. You’ve lost the ability to multi-task.
Week in, week out, you totally boss at multi-tasking; but be sure it will all go out the window when family come to stay. You’ll wonder how you normally do it and give your previous week self a pat on the back.
3. You feel more hungover and stressed than usual.
4. The dog hasn’t been walked.
You may have also forgotten to feed it, and accidently locked it outside when you went to bed. Sorry puppy.
5. Someone’s ill.
Not only are your kids more accident prone while you have visitors, it is also customary for Family to bring a new virus to share. If coming from abroad, it is only fair to reciprocate this offering and send them home with a local pathogen to spread around their home country. Sharing’s caring after all.
6.Your countertops are full of Junk.
What is all this junk that’s floating around my kitchen? Plastic bags, almost empty packets of crisps, cakes made a week ago that no-one’s comfortable throwing away in case someone gets upset. The latter also applies to the contents of the fridge. Suddenly you become a hoarder of left-overs, because everyone’s too polite to chuck away the remnants of Granny’s potato salad.
7. Lunchtime beers have become the norm.
8. You’ve only just remembered your inflatable bed has a hole and you should have chucked it last time family came to stay.
And will you throw it away this time? Probably not.
9. You’ve gained 1lb per day.
I’m pretty sure it has been scientifically proven that the 1lb a day rule applies to all members of the family over the age of 18. And remember it will take you 1lb per month to remove the family visit fat… it’s a science thing, don’t blame yourself.
10. Your bank account’s empty.
In fact, everyone’s bank account is empty. Money is just so much more fun to spank when family’s here to help.
I find the recovery period from family coming to stay is usually equal to the length of the visit. Therefore, I will likely spend the next week going to bed at 8pm, drinking just a little less white wine, and folding a lot of washing.
It was pleasure to have you Auntie Sarah, come visit again soon.