Why are you still naked? – Kids that can’t keep their clothes on.

Although I’m proud of my daughter for being a non-conformist, certain social etiquettes have their uses… such as covering your mouth when you cough, not kicking dogs, and wearing clothes. It is the latter that I’m having trouble with. If she hasn’t worked out in 6yrs that hanging out in …

Poopcrastination: A child’s guide to difficult questions.

Listen up kids… My daughter is six and she is an expert in avoiding chores, homework or basically anything she thinks is rubbish. Here’s her guide which I’ve aptly named Poopcrastination: A child’s guide to answering difficult questions. 1. When your parents ask you to tidy your room, just tell …

Whiplash – Knowing when to break your kid’s balls.

If you haven’t seen the movie Whiplash, put it on your must-see list. It’s about the relationship between an extremely strict and ruthless college teacher and one of his talented music students. The poor kid is hammered down until breaking point, but ultimately becomes a better player and stronger person …

Top Ten Ways to Move a Sleeping Baby.

You arrive home in the car and open the back door to find a baby (or two) fast asleep. If only you could do a tactical transplant to the crib? Here are the top ten ways to move a sleeping baby: 1. Slowly. Undo the straps, pause. Remove arms from …

Baby essentials for the Zombie Apocalypse

Last night I made applesauce. Anyone that’s made family sized batches of applesauce knows that it’s very dull peeling that many apples. So I got thinking… when is the latest series of The Walking Dead going to arrive on Netflix? And that got me thinking… would I be able to find …

Boys playing with girl toys? Careful now…

When multi-million dollar corporations start sending me free stuff to review my boys can have some boy toys. But for now the poor things will have to do with big sisters hand-me-downs. Yes, I’m officially going to risk turning my boys into transsexual perverts by allowing them to play with …

Cats and babies… household safari.

  [Best Attenborough voice required] As the adolescent feline curiously scans the room for a play mate, two infant homosapiens drag themselves slowly towards their prey. As one gains distance on the other, it becomes a battle of dominance between the siblings. Who will win the prize? [Enough Attenborough for now] Why …

Developmental Milestones: Can your baby breakdance yet?

My first born was, and still is my over-achiever baby. She rolled earlier than expected, crawled on schedule, and picked up talking and reading so early I smugly revelled in many a proud moment as my toddler read out the title of a pamphlet in the doctor’s waiting room. But …